The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”
The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”
Today we were walking along and he asked me “How many Octobers is it today?” I told him it was the 21st.
He tried a bite of his hot soup at dinner and made a face and said “Mama, my soup is a little too temperature for me.”
Upon being served 1% milk for the first time, instead of his regular 2%: “is this water?”
Me: “no, it’s milk”
Kid: “but are you sure?”
Came up to me the other day, the middle of his pants totally soaked, and said “mama, I’m having a situation called ‘I peed in my pants.’”
I don’t think I even told you guys about the six months he spent saying “fuck” instead of “truck.”
Ms. Frizzle *in a star fleet uniform* “battle stations everyone”
We never violated the Prime Directive at my old school…
*staring at a corner of a galaxy map* “I guess you could say we measure distance in star feet.”
*groaning* “CARLOS!“
Uh…
That’s NOT THE SAME! That’s normal Ms Frizzle with her normal elementary school kids!
I’m talking Starfleet Academy Instructional Captain Frizzle as a part of the canon of Star Trek who teaches adults, taking them on fucked up adventures for every away mission. She’s the most popular instructor in history and has tenure. Liz is the first Gorn in Starfleet and her first officer.
Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?
You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.
winter is just [lives in oversized sweater] [reads 2,000 page book in 2 days] [sunsets at 2pm] [depression intensifies] [eats soup] [listens to melodrama] [existential dread] [is touch starved] [wakes up early and gets out of bed 2 hours later] [listens to hozier] [“bro feel how cold my hands are”] [drinks tea] [rereads harry potter for the 7th time] [both dreading and restless for the upcoming new year] [avoids human interaction] [drinks more tea]
